High-Speed Space Menace

The race for space – the quest for the final frontier has seen billions of dollars spent, numerous flags planted, and the likes of dogs and chimps hurled throughout weightless darkness in experimental delirium.

And now, space junk – the hideous term of post space race exploration, where the offshoots of modern progress are left splintered, unused, and orbiting the earth at the ludicrous speeds of 30,000 kph.

Currently, there are around 200,000 pieces of space garbage, mostly broken satellites, being shot around the globe approximately 600 miles above the earth. Previously ignored, these renegade rogues of darkness are beginning to raise a few eyebrows.

In fact, they are now becoming a liability, as pieces of space garbage bigger than 5 millimetres travelling at these speeds can take out a satellite, rip through a space suit, or puncture a hole in an international space station.

Optic systems expert, Dr Ben Green, says the problem is becoming exacerbated, as “junk is colliding with junk and creating more junk”. He adds that certain orbits will soon have so much junk they will be a no go zone for satellites – a highway of hell.

Scientists such as Dr Green have therefore decided to cull some of these roaming outlaws. His company, Electro Optic Systems, has designed laser technology to blast the junk into smithereens.

Meanwhile, American company Star Inc is set to hurl gargantuan sized nets into space in order to capture the junk. Other scientists are inventing ‘soccer skilled’ robots to dock alongside streams of heavy traffic in order to boot the travellers into deep “graveyard” orbits.

However, Dr Ernest Log, from the Galactic Animist Society (GAS), has labelled the ideas as “rubbish”. He says rather than focusing on junk assassination, we should be integrating these high-speed miscarriages of industry into one big whirlpool of consciousness. Which, he adds, might even save us a few bob.