Decades ago, a first class scientist, quite distinguished by his hair, developed a theory. Today, beneath the mountains of Colorado, scientists have taken that idea a little further.
Armed with Einstein’s theory of relativity, physicists at the National Institute of Standards Technology (NIST) have revealed people living at the top of a building age faster than those residing on the ground floor.
Einstein first thought that time moved faster the further away from a gravitational force. Researchers have proven (even in daily life) this is indeed true, by using “quantum logic” atomic clocks, which keep time within one second over a 3.7 billion year period.
These rigorously stringent timekeepers reveal that by simply walking up a flight of stairs, one ages 900 billionths of a second faster. Similarly, if you lived entirely at the top of the Rose Tower in Dubai (1250 feet), life would be 104 millionths of a second shorter.
A researcher at NIST has stated that “gravitational time dilation” would not affect human lives, although it may prove practical in areas such as geophysics.
Whilst considered superfluous to daily life, the news has nevertheless sparked bonfires of indignation across the globe. Lamas are reportedly fleeing from their lofty Tibetan temples, while giants are cursing the gods over their deformities.
Others, however, have launched into more chipper activities. Midgets and vertigo sufferers are celebrating added nanoseconds with flaming Lamborghinis, whilst thousands attempt to adapt to life on their stomachs.
Then there are the less neurotic members of the planet, who are left marvelling at the imagery revived by the news – such as an astronaut observing a clock as it drifts towards a black hole, with its hands steadily slowing as gravity increases.