Cutting-edge News From Russia

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By Andy T

News from RussiaWith the current state of information technology, citizens of the Earth are becoming more informed on world news. Indeed, diverse political, scientific and religious ideas are creeping under household carpets like never before.

However, in Russia, something is different, and all is not as it seems. As Russian carpets are either impervious to so called ‘established truths’, or the country is flying under the radar of mass propaganda, seeing the world as it really is.

For in a recent poll, over a third of Russians believe the Sun revolves around the Earth, half of them think radioactivity is a human invention, and 29% believe humans and dinosaurs have lived side by side.

And recently, Russian scientists outraged NASA (and the general public) by disputing its calculations that the likelihood of the asteroid Apophis hitting the Earth in 2036 is virtually nil. Instead they have aroused the unsettling notion that come 2036, the world is doomed to be struck by the large soaring space rogue.

Furthermore, only a few months back, Russian Finance Minister Alexei Kudrin infuriated health critics worldwide by encouraging Russians to either begin, or increase smoking and drinking in order to boost the country’s dwindling tax revenue.

And in a recent display of avant-garde investigatory behaviour, Russians officials announced plans to open a scientific institute in Siberia, so that researchers can study yetis, despite fierce opposition from the country’s academics.

Yeti researcher Igor Burtsev believes the yeti is a separate branch of human evolution living in harmony with nature, in remote parts of Siberia. And it appears he’s not alone, as the Kemerovo region holds an annual yeti day with an ice sculpting competition called ‘In the World of the Yeti’.

Yes, many are now describing Russia as a nation of mad idealists seeped in vodka that have never quite recovered from the Cold War. However those close to the Russian President, Dmitry Medvedev, say otherwise.

Unnamed sources within the presidential circle have revealed Mr Medvedev is strongly influenced by a close friend, who is said to be a descendant of Lenin. This ‘friend’, who recently became an avid admirer of British author George Orwell, was deeply shaken after reading the author’s acclaimed satire of the Russian Revolution entitled ‘Animal Farm’.

He has been disturbed ever since. At first he took to vodka, and when the pain failed to lessen, his focus turned towards undermining the control of the Russian government, starting with education, science and health, all via his most loyal friend, President Dmitry Medvedev.

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