The search for the Holy Grail, which is associated with Christ’s Last Supper, legends of the Holy Chalice, the Knights Templar, and special powers, has continued ceaselessly throughout the ages.
Code breakers, archaeologists, hopeless romantics and crazed historians have wrestled with the elements and devoted years of painstaking footslog in search of this mystical legend.
The most recent of these grail groupies to hit the press has been Italian cryptographer Giancarlo Gianazza. However, unlike other enthusiasts of his calibre, Gianazza believes the legend lies in the Icelandic mountains.
Clues from an ancient knife, numeric symbols in Botticelli’s Primavera, Da Vinci’s Last Supper, and Dante’s Divine Comedy purportedly lead to an “underground dome” deep within the country.
Hardened adventurer Geir Magnusson, who’s slopped through snow, sleet, storms, summits and shafts in search for the Holy Grail, along with Gianazza, says clues point towards “the throne of Beatrice, which Dante wrote about”.
However, after more than five years scouting with air compressors, a search team, and drilling numerous 20 metre deep holes in the mountain, no trace of the legend has been found.
Nevertheless, steadfast Gianazza believes an ancient Icelandic script states poet and politician Snorri Sturluson accompanied “eighty armored Eastmen” to the Althingi parliament in 1217, who could have been the Knights Templars.
So many mountains of uncertainty, costly expeditions and fruitlessly cold journeys has Gianazza endured, that many are now labelling the campaign an historically saggy sausage with zero relevance to Iceland.
Famed Icelandic code breaker Yoanne Spensten believes the search for the Holy Grail is really Gianazza’s ultimate cryptographic cover-up for a thunderous gay nightclub involving the country’s elite.
References to the “underground dome”, the throne of Beatrice and eighty armoured Eastmen all point to a sweaty subterranean male dominion that’s so secretive it may harbour the likes of the president.
“The find could be the Holy Grail of Icelandic sociological history”, he says.
Honrik Joov says
I do hope you are right about the grail mystery. At present Reykjavik has a pretty crap gay nite club scene. Ironically your news flash uses terms I would liken to my weekend at Bumbang Nite club. It was a ‘saggy sausage’ of a night out! Perhaps a toga party with some of those Holy Grail cups from Aldi would liven things up around these parts, and hopefully my parts too!
I am a huge fan of shrimping and you sound cute…what are you up to this weekend? Wanna have an Indiana Jones frolick with me and some of my chums?
Andy Tope says
Dearest Honrik Joov,
Shrimping and Indiana Jones frolicks sure do sound like fun. Are Aldi really making Grail cups? I should get myself one.
Thank you for your ridiculous comment. I think I’m going to take you up on the offer, why not.
Should I bring a whip?
Honrik Joov says
I will bring the whip, you just bring your bum…xxx