Mobile Phones Diminish Rabbit Sex Lives

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By Andy T

Rabbit sex

In an erotic radioactive mammalian investigation, four Japanese scientists have placed mobile phones in close proximity to several rabbit’s genitalia, to gauge whether this has a direct influence over the animal’s primal urges.

The experiment is designed to correlate with the proximity of a mobile phone to a human being’s genitals, thereby revealing whether a phone’s electromagnetic waves affect a person’s sex life.

Nader Salama, Tomoteru Kishimoto, Hiro-Omi Kanayama and Susumu Kagawa, who performed the experiment at the Tokushima School of Medicine in Japan, believe they are the first to analyse such a cause and effect scenario.

The experiment involved 18 lucky little bunnies, who were scrutinised over a period of three months, during which six of them had switched on mobile phones against their genitals, six with the phones turned off, and six without phones.

Throughout the ordeal, the scientists proceeded to closely monitor the rabbit’s love lives, paying particular attention to mounting practices and sexual fatigue. The results revealed the bunnies with warm phones against their bits got “sexually exhausted earlier”.

The findings, pronounced shortly after by the resplendent four, are “likely to have practical implications in their human correlations”.

Not everyone, however, was over the moon about the experiment. Vladmir Succolo, from the Russian Rabbit Rehabilitation Respite Ring (RRRRR), called the experiment a “twisted entertainment fetish designed to please four sexually barren lives, all at the expense of the innocent coney”.

The comment has purportedly thrown the Japanese Science community into a complete uproar.

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