Family Court Sheep Fiasco

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By Matthew Halo Cattanach

family court

In what may be the first case of its kind, a separated couple have asked the Family Court in Australia to help divide their flock – of sheep. Members of the Bar Association had sheepish looks about them when asked to comment on the case.

The couple split in 2012, and for legal reasons are known to the court as Mr and Mrs Calder. Both in their 60s, the couple divided their property and assets so as to keep farming. However the wife claimed her poaching partner procured all the “top quality sheep”.

The husband offered her money in exchange for the better sheep. According to family friends he had not tried to pull the wool over her eyes, however some locals described Mr Calder as a wolf in sheep’s clothing that had planned the whole operation.

During a tiring day at a hearing in Melbourne, Mrs Calder, wearing a quality merino woollen blazer, was asked to explain to his Honour why she wanted the sheep and not the cash. Mr Calder, appearing equally resplendent in a pure new wool Hugo Boss suit, listened attentively.

Her answer made sense. The couple had been breeding the sheep for their wool for over 35 years. Thus you could not put a price on them. The ones she had received were far less woolly and in reality were mutton dressed up as lamb.

On March 16th the court in Perth recognised Mrs Calder was deprived of her share of the quality sheep and a deal must be struck. One of her adult sons was clearly on his mother’s side. Although the man known as the black sheep of the family pleaded passionately to his dad, “give mum some good bloody sheep you tight-arse!”

Our legal reporter at The Fox Gazette, Greg Turnup, after a long day of evidence and legal nonsense commented, “I really feel for Mrs Calder. At retirement age, nobody likes to be fleeced”.

2 thoughts on “Family Court Sheep Fiasco”

  1. Dear Mr Fox,
    How sad an elderly couple must fight over sheep. I suppose a few hundred years ago he’d take the sheep and belt her over the head with a stick. Perhaps we are slowly evolving after all. I wonder if he had a few pretty ewes that he didn’t want to part with? I mean it’s easy to get emotionally attached when your wife gives you the arse. Not that I would know about that…. although I did once have a donkey in Egypt and we certainly had some pleasant afternoon strolling in the desert. I digress…good luck to them…dilly old coots.

    Regards, BS

    • Berny Shilitz,

      This story is about money and not lewd adventures in the desert with donkeys you despicable human being. Or perhaps, Berny, you are just harkening back to the good old days of desert donkey diversions.

      In which case, I suggest you return.


      Mr Fox.


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